Now that I’m somewhat settled in to my new place let me update you to what happened and why I was gone so long….
On January 13th I had for lacking the proper words a nervous breakdown. After the ongoing ordeal with my soon to be ex wife I have had enough, I wanted to die and take her with me. In a rush i fled the house, not telling her where I was going. The thought of crashing my car into the lake crossed my mind, but there was something in the back of me head telling me to run for help. Needless to say I ended up in an emergency room not really knowing what was going on. The severity of my situation didn’t occur to me until after the first full day on the psych floor.
In the six weeks I spent in two separate hospitals I lost everything, my wife, my girlfriend (we were separated at the time), my job, my home, and my car. I felt that in some part my wife was to blame.
I’m out now since Thursday, I’ve found someplace else to live and getting continued treatment for my bipolar disorder and ICMS caseworker to keep me out of the hospital. I’m talking with a former girlfriend from almost ten years ago. I think my life is starting to look up. I still get major anxiety and thoughts of my past (flashbacks I guess), but I’m trying to work thru it. I did write throughout my hospital stay and will post them here as time allows. I’m gonna get thru this, one moment at a time.